haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
