I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
