I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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