and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
