I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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