I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
