So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
