I accidentally burped into my bong.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
there is glitter all over my balls
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
