i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
