I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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