I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
How does it feel to date your dad?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
