dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
