She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
nutella sex= disaster
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
