He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
