Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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