This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
