The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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