someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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