Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
