and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Dual....:-)
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
