Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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