i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize