So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I enjoy the company of your penis
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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