I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
