she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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