he shaved USA in his pubs
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
How external is "for external use only"?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
