is your mom at the bar?
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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