:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
