My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
My pussy is not your playground.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm like, not good at living.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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