Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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