My first STD was from a foam party
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
