No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
