Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
