In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
