Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Found your dick twin last night
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
