I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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