He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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