WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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