I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i will never coherently bang her
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
