Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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