The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
