Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
