i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
