oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
