Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
