This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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