Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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