Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
