You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
