oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
