so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
