we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
