No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
