If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Two words: nipple clamps
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